Add Insult to Injury
My eldest daughter is entering a fantastic time in her life!
She has recently become engaged and is in the midst of planning for the big
event …. Her wedding day!
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| She said "Yes!" |
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My daughter Autumn
and her longtime best friends since kindergarten, Jackie and Anik (A-neek), were attending
a bridal show. Take note that my
daughter is a beautiful, plus size girl and her friends are pretty, petite girls.
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| Jackie, Autumn, Anik |
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The girls had stopped
to look at the wares of a bridal vender. Anik was standing to the side as Autumn
was leafing through the information that was on the table. The gentleman
manning the booth looked in Anik’s direction and said “so, you must be the
bride!” Autumn, looking the man in the eye and matter-of-factly said “no, I am
the bride sir” she laid the materials she had picked up back down on the table
and she and Anik walked away. To say the least, Autumn was insulted especially
since she was the one actually looking at the materials on that table.
This man did not intend to cause harm but the microaggression
in this instance was based on a physical appearance. The microinvalidation
committed in this scenario, implied that brides are slim; big girls do not get
proposed to because they do not fit the image of the blushing bride. My daughter is not at all sensitive about her weight she is dealing with her situation to get it down before the wedding date. It was just what was implied by this man. He did indeed lose a potental client that day!
We must be cognizant of the stereotypes of people and
cultures we may have in our minds. We cannot make assumptions by the way a
person looks that they are or will behave in a certain way. The assignment of
observations for microaggression has forever put me on alert to watch my
comments when speaking to others also to even let others know of the hurts and
mindless insults we can inflict towards people due to our own biases we are unaware of.
Sheila, Congratulations to your daughter. I agree this assignment puts another spin on hurting people. Microaggression, which is a new word for me, also opens my eyes to the little indignities that hurt people so badly. My daughter is a plus size girl and so many times I have seen the sadness in her eyes from others remarks or rolling of their eyes when she passed them or maybe she bumped into them or knocked something over.
ReplyDeleteI think as educators we have to do the right thing by being culturally responsive and teaching children to accept others for the way they are. Diana
Hi Sheila,
ReplyDeleteWhat the shopkeeper did was truly offensive. I would have walked out myself. Human mind is so quick to categorize people based on the stereotypes or misinformation that are perpetuated in the society. What we do not realize is that unconsciously because of our hidden biases we are actually robbing a person’s individuality and affecting their self confidence. As a result a stigmatized person has to be burdened with the need to be always on guard. Let us together join in changing the attitudes and beliefs that would ensure a future society that is fair, just and humane. Congratulations to your daughter!
Shelia,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your daughters' engagement. What a fun and exciting time. I think physical appearance is one of the biggest biases people have against others'. I am petite and I have had others microaggress towards me. It goes both ways and it is sad to me! Your daughter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
Shelia, Congratulations on your daughter engagment. Well I will be get married next in April 27, 2013 for my second time. I think physical is a big problem that we have now with biases people that are against us these days. I am not skin but I am glad that my future husband my side what I am. You have a nice looking beautiful daughter and tell her do not let anyone steal her joy away from her.
ReplyDelete